If you love someone let them go?
I often hear that if we love someone we must let them go. We must let them go so that they can live as per their desire. I was said the same when someone I am still badly in love with asked me for a separation a year back. So, after several attempts to fix things I did let her go. Albeit, I often contemplate isn’t this statement irrelevant when the other person had been saying that she too loved you insanely. She used to ask me often, “Will you be with me forever?” and with blush and love-filled eyes I used to respond, “Yes always”. So, if that had been true as well, why did she wanted to leave in the first place. I did let her go, though I fought against all odds that was parting us. I fought because I belived that she too loved me, I fought because I belived Love is something worth fighting for. Whatever be the reason of her departure but it made me lose all my beliefs in love. It seems pretty strange to me that the vows and the promises we once exchanged in closed rooms and park benches will now be taken again by her with someone else but on a social gathering, coined as WEDDING, trashing every single promise she once made to me. The same promises to be with each other at all circumstances and equally shoulder all responsibilities; to be by each other and provide all the securities required; to remain loyal to each other to bring up children with responsibility; to celebrate all joyous moments together, and remain friends forever standing by each other in this life and many lives to come. We took the same vows once too though it was over a prolonged period of 6 years and no one witnessed it besides us. Is it that our vows only hold values when people in heft witness them in presence of a fiery fire and a priest?
Our existing culture has highly shaped our principles. It seems all we do today is a pretext to impress our society. A twisted puny culture prevails today the motives of which is to divide. Our true culture indeed had been principles the traces of which could be found in Vedas and our religious texts. We follow Jesus and Buddha but not what they preached. Sometimes, I just blame everything around me but then I halt remembering Stephen R. Covey.
I don’t feel hurt because she left but what hurts me is that she didn’t value anything she promised. My perception of love is not from the cliche Bollywood movies where sacrifice has been personified as an epitome of love. It is from the novels by Nicholas Sparks, Lauren Gibaldi; it is from epics like Interstellar that introduced love as a force that could transcend even dimensions and it is from the works of the poets like Jalaluddin Rumi, Elizabeth Barrett, and William Butler. She is the one who once made me believe in the existence of love and she defied the same. Perhaps, that was the reason I had developed such higher hopes from her once and feels so shattered now. I seek answers to the questions that became an albatross around its neck. Answers to culminate my year-long agitation. Answers to find what is love? Answers to justify that her leaving all of a sudden was nothing wrong? Answer to find if it’s wrong to expect that she will ever return?
I don’t write this blogs to share my vulnerability, I write it because I know there are many people who witness kinda same in their life. I share them with a hope that perhaps somewhere in the world a Sweety will read it and will make up her decision to strand a Suraj. Because if both of you love each other in a relationship, why shall you let one go or infact finagle your way out. Why not stand and fight together against all odds. But the problem today is we succumb too quickly to difficulties. An easy incorrect alley is preferred over a tough ascent.
I am not sure how much more time I would take for the rebound, until then at least I have the quotes from Alfred Lord Tennyson at my condolence — “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
Just like the way Ted Mosby, our protagonist from “How I met your mother” had a opinion — if you love someone never let it go even for a second or it will be gone for ever — is changed in episode S9 E17 when he finally decides to let go of Robin. Compromising with his feelings for the good of Robin.
